New Horizons
Photo by Ram
What I’m sharing with you today is an email that I wrote on Dec 31 last year, to one of my closest friends. I celebrated my birthday a couple of days ago, and amidst all the happy and fun-filled moments I also spent a few quiet moments reflecting on the year gone by. It got me thinking about this email… Rereading it now I found it quite inspiring and sort of bittersweet, and I hope it will stir something beautiful deep inside you too.
Så, nu är det alltså årets sista dag. 2008 har nog faktiskt varit det värsta året i mitt liv, även om det förstås funnits några väldigt bra stunder också. I feel completely worn out emotionally & mentally. Skönt att det är över, skulle man ju kunna säga, men man vet ju trots allt inte om 2009 blir bättre. De senaste fyra åren har blivit bara sämre och sämre för mig, så jag tycker att det kunde vara dags att det vänder till det bättre nu! Jag önskar så att det fanns någon magisk ceremoni jag kunde göra, ett mantra jag kunde läsa, gudar jag kunde be till eller nån kurs jag kunde gå för att genast förändra mitt liv… But I guess all I’m stuck with is Surrender and Faith (which in fact isn’t bad at all).
2008 has for me been mostly about learning the art of becoming empty, of beautiful breakdowns and bittersweet moments… finding peace and stillness in the midst of intense suffering… getting my heart ripped to shreds, letting go… being guided by the tough love of Shiva… watching illusions getting smashed to smithereens, getting old patterns broken… saying goodbye to who I thought I was… and inviting the Mind back home into the Heart.
Så jag hoppas och önskar för oss båda två att 2009 är fyllt av PEACE OF MIND and EASE OF HEART …lots of love, sensuality, light and lightness.
I hope this is the year we both find a lasting sense of belonging and that our true inspiration finds us.
I wish Lakshmi would bless us with enough money and resources to live our hearts’ desires, to keep us from worrying about work and future plans.
And wonderful men! (At least one each ;) Maybe this is the year when we meet our Soulmates, the ones that are meant not only to teach us the difficult stuff (like the ones we’ve met up until now) but also the ones who will help us remember and rediscover unconditional love and affection, romance and profound joy, intimacy without intricacy… and appreciate our fabulous charisma :)
And I wish for us to go on an uplifting and joyful trip together, where we can shine, play and enjoy life unconditionally.
I wish all the very best for both of our families, friends and other dear ones.
Maybe this time our hearts will be gently coaxed wide open by gratitude (instead of by bleeding wounds…), creating space to welcome back the parts of us that we left behind in the deals we have tried to make with life, trying to trade pieces of our dreams for promises of happiness, safety or wisdom. Let us allow ourselves to accept that there are no such bargains to be made, and let this acceptance loosen the small, hard knots of endless trying within us.
Let there be free flow and abundance, let our energy budgets will stay balanced.
Perhaps 2009 is when we let go, relax even more, open up and surrender to magic and mystery; trusting the flow of life to guide us forward.
May this be the year when we laugh from the bottomlessness of our souls, more than we ever have laughed before, and let the tears rolling down our faces be tears of joy.
Maybe this is the year our bodies will fulfill their yearning to reach a healthy balance – fit and curvaceous!
Let us have oceans of time to spend in peace and play together with the people we love, with plenty of ordinary sparkling moments and moondrunk encounters with new friends.
I wish for opportunities that let us express our wanderlust and explore the sweet embrace of the world without reservations.
I hope for many relaxing hours in a shaded hammock on a sandy beach, beneath the rustling palm tree leaves… the smooth, sweet sensory indulgence of coconut oil on warm skin, scented with intoxicating jasmine flowers and frangipani petals in flowing tresses of hair… fresh water, fruit and a thick, amazing book by my side.
Allow us to forgive ourselves for everything we don’t like… and for everything and everyone we do like…
And I hope we both get our moments to gaze up at the dark night sky, in amazed wonder of the constellation of stars above… without being reminded of the lingering pain of our hearts’ constellations of scars.
So let’s this be a new start, a celebration of freedom and happiness on all levels, for us and for all beings. Because everything is already perfect.
This is what the silent breath of my heart will be wishing for when I watch the fireworks, welcoming the new year..!
“Same thing that’s scrawled across the stars
It’s written under your skin
New horizons, new horizons within”
~ New Horizons as sung by David Gray
Lots of love and massive hugs,
m.
Fuelled by masala chai I'm breathing through the bittersweet lessons and challenges of Shiva's tough love, slowly discovering the art of becoming empty. I am coming undone, finding myself once again... and it is t/here, waiting with arms wide open. Shanti 
November 25th, 2009 at 6:50 pm
Wow. Reading this had me in tears. So very beautiful, and almost (but not quite) scary how similar our paths have been up to this point. The past years have been the darkest I have ever experienced, and 2008 was the year when I broke down and surrendered. I decided that I had had enough and started peeling off layer after layer of false concepts to reveal the splendor that was already within me all this time. I very much relate to what you say about embracing and accepting everything.
Oh, and on a sidenote, you just described my perfect vacation when you talked about the hammock on the beach. :) Maldives, or Isle de Maître perhaps. Mhmm, relaxation.
Namaste :)